Honey, If You’re Reading This…

When my birthday rolls around, everyone—friends and family—rushes out to get the latest beer accessories. Now I have them all, more than I need. Let’s call a halt to this madness and think about other options. It’s not that I need you to buy me a gift, but if you are intending to grant me this favor, why not get me something I don’t have. I could circulate a list but that would be aggressive. I will just let things stay as they are. I have collectible old beer cans from decades ago, many unusual openers, 1,000 printed napkins, an Andy Warhol beer can print, and a beer mug set or two, and a cooler for taking my favorite beverage along with me on an outing. Thanks to everyone for all this birthday fun, but now I am just addressing my wife. She only gets me clothing or toiletries and never a beer-themed gadget. Now is the time for her to take heed of something I want in another vein. Honey, if you are reading this….

So, what is this mysterious item that I crave. It is this – a new gun safe. I collect guns and have housed them safely in my old unit. I don’t necessarily plan on buying more, but it could happen. What I want is increased safety given the number of people who walk by the old one. I never want to see a child or teenager grab the lock or try to open it with a password. I want a new model that works with only my fingerprint. It is more foolproof than a key for sure. I used to hide the key but it seemed obvious in the hardware drawer. When it comes to kids and intruders, you can never be too careful. Curiosity killed the cat, but let’s not go there. It is too scary.

I was hoping my wife would be the one to buy the new safe so she could select a model she likes. She is well aware of the issue of safety and would be vigilant about selecting just the right one. She would discuss options with the salesman and also be careful about acquiring the right size to fit our space. I don’t have rifles in my collection so the gun safe doesn’t have to be enormous. It can be a countertop style or a shorter floor model. It will not have to be full size. I also know that she is in a quandary over my birthday gift since she wants something different for me this year. She is tired of the same old stuff, as I am. It is time to get innovative while at the same time getting something I really want. Honey, if you are reading this…

I am pretty excited about the possibility of a new gun safe that will allow me to sleep better at night, and I know my wife will come through. I am already planning for the switch and am organizing my collection right now.